:cldsun2: My Aunt came down for a visit yesterday as she does every few months or so. In our conversation the subject of the 4 year plan came up. I told her Jeff’s and my thoughts and our plan for moving forward. I had hoped she’d be as enthusiastic as we were. But she wasn’t. She expressed her heartfelt disappointment that we would both be out in the work force and that our children would come home to an empty house.

She told me how she felt that so many children would be better off if they had a parent to come home to each afternoon. And I agree with her. And the guilt set in. How can I go after something that will cause my children to have to go to daycare in someone else’s home or worse yet to come home to an empty house and run wild for a few hours a day, every day?

It didn’t work when my stepdaughter was still living at home – run wild she did, she still is. But honestly, and I hope this doesn’t make me an awful mother; I don’t want to be a martyr for another 17 years. Maybe martyr isn’t the right word but I guess I wonder how long am I supposed to wait before I pursue what’s important to me? How do I give that up and not resent my children and let it affect my parenting? I wrestled with this all night and again this morning in the shower (the only place I’ve found that I can have complete thoughts). And it came to me.

Why do I have to be the one to stay home with the kids? Jeff is miserable in his own job. Calls it worthless, dead end work. It’s physically demanding and his body just isn’t keeping up any more. He could easily take over my mystery shop scheduling job, continue with selling on eBay as he’s done in the past (and is very good at) and be the one here at home with our kids. It seems like it would address all of the issues.

So I proposed it to Jeff this morning and he was receptive, almost excited. I know he’d do great with the kids and would be much happier and more relaxed. There are more and more SAHD’s and they are not the bumbling idiots they may be portrayed as. Although I’d have to wonder how he’d feel about picking up the bulk of the housework and errands. I bet he’d handle it like a pro ;)