So last night I had to run out to the grocery store for a few things and to pick up dinner for the troops. I was in a bit of a hurry but I know not to speed around here because we have a couple of state troopers and a lot of tattletales in my small town. I was stopped at a stop sign indicating I wanted to turn right, waiting my turn. I saw the constable drive by and a few other cars. As I was making my turn I noticed the constable had pulled over up ahead. I drove by him slowly, within the speed limit and continued on my way to the store.

He came tearing up behind me, blue lights flashing bright in the darkness. I quickly pulled over to get out of his way because he obviously had to be on his way to an emergency call. And he pulled over right behind me. And made me wait. And wait. And wait some more while he assumably ran my plate. WTF? I was at a dead stop when he went by me, directional on and drove the speed limit past him. I didn’t get it.

He finally got out of his car and walked up to my window. I had run it down in anticipation of learning my crime.

“Do you know why I pulled you over tonight?”

“No. I don’t have any idea.”

“You have snow on your windshield. You need to clear it. It’s dangerous driving around like that.”

And with that he turned and walked back to his car. I what? Yes there was snow approximately an inch and a half up my windsheield from the bottom. Not in my line of vison, not even high enough for the wipers to touch. I had already tried. You mean to tell me you went to all the trouble to pull me over, run my plates, leave my children starving even longer so you could tell me to scrape my windshield?

I understand the job must be slow and boring especially in my town. I live in a stereotypical, picturesque little New England hamlet where everyone knows everyone else and NOTHING happens here. I was tempted to blast by him on my way back from the store so at least this time he’d have a reason to pull me over. But I didn’t. I just waved, pointed to my windshield and gave him a big thumbs up and the best Fuck You grin I could muster.