He’s Home
The doctor’s sent the grandbaby home. Told my sd to watch out for jaundice as that could very well develop after the bumps go away. She is happy to be home with him and has already let her 15 year old sister “baby-sit”, i.e. watch him while she takes a nap. She’s got it made living with her mom, brother, sister and mom’s boyfriend. Built in babysitters galore. Wish I had some
She did call me last night and tell me that she is getting her own apartment as of the 1st. It is in the same building as her mom so she’s not going far. Like I told Jeff though - she just barely tied the proverbial apron strings with her mom after wanting them for her entire life. So I understand if she wants to stay close for a while. And it gives everyone their own space without being too far.
I realize that there will be a couple of challenges for Granny Jules that I didn’t anticipate. I must learn to hold my tongue and not tell sd what to do with regards to her son. I’m not talking about holding my tongue over life threatening situations, just the little stuff.
Yesterday she went out for a bit and left the baby at home with her family and my gut reaction was “How could she leave him? I could never have done that. I held them and stayed with them all the time when they were first born.” But I must remember that I am not her, she is very scared of this new little baby, and being with him for 21 out of 24 hours is not exactly neglect. And it’s not like she left him in a car or home alone or anything. Just not something I would have done - but doesn’t mean she’s wrong and I’m right, just different. This one will be tough for me. I tend to speak my mind pretty freely, usually before thinking it through.
The other thing that will be hard for me is this twinge of jealousy I feel about the active, regular role sd’s mom is going to be taking in this whole process. This woman has not been there for 19 out of 20 years of sd’s life. And now she gets them all to herself. I have been given an open invitation to visit whenever I�d like � but being 45 minutes away that will happen once a week if that. I know it�s silly, it�s just hard sometimes taking a back seat to someone that wasn�t there all those tough years and just gets to reap the benefits now.
I think maybe I just need to catch up on my sleep























Ohhh, congratulations! And good luck holding your tongue! And I’m excited to see a test case for "grandparenting." Post everything!
PhilipSeptember 24th, 2004 at 1:27 pm
I’m so glad he’s home! Hospitals are the worst. I think there definitely is an art to being a good grandparent. It took my parents and my in-laws about two years to figure it out. Before that, they drove me crazy. Good luck!
NotDonnaReedSeptember 24th, 2004 at 2:42 pm
Hey Jules, I’m glad the baby is home and ok. I’m with you. I couldn’t have left the baby then either, but you are so WISE to keep those thoughts quiet.
I feel for ya, I wouldn’t want the other mom there either….
but of course it’s her grand kid too so whatdya do? (hugs)
Oh…I changed my password so please contact me for it k…
weebieSeptember 24th, 2004 at 11:10 pm
I think most grandmas in your position feel the same way. I know my husbands mom always feels like my mom gets more time with our kids. But I have always wanted to tell her that she is the one that doesn’t come around enough. So just try to keep that in mind… if you are invited anytime you want…then be sure to go. YKWIM?
CandiSeptember 25th, 2004 at 8:45 pm
So glad the little one is better and home now.
MicheleI am dreading being a grandma for these very reasons. It must be hard to love someone so much who isn’t yours.
September 29th, 2004 at 11:28 am
YAY I’m glad he’s home!!!
Hula DoulaI asked my mother what it was like to share grandchildren. Her honest answer was, "Sharing is easy if there is love all the way around." I can understand the twinge of jealousy though because you’ve been there for her.
You are wonderful holding your tongue. My mother does the same with me until I ask. Then she unleashes on me!! LOL I asked for it though is always her excuse back to me!! !LOLOL
September 30th, 2004 at 8:19 pm