May

31

I Can See Clearly

May 31, 2006 |

Yesterday my husband and I had planned that I would take Nick and Olivia to the eye doctor’s to pick up their new glasses after school. Jeff got home from work and immediately collapsed on the couch, complaining how exhausted he was. Sd had been at the house most of the day and was complaining of the same thing. I told them that we’d just go some other day since they are both so tired and they tell me “No, no. Go ahead - we’ll be fine between the 2 of us.”

Before we left there was a little power struggle between sd and Nick. Jeff had taken sd’s spot on the couch so he told her to go on the love seat where Nick was sitting. Their expectation was that Nick would just give up his seat because sd was tired and wanted to be on a couch. No one asked him, sd just started saying “c’mon Nick - move.” And he wouldn’t. So everybody got pissy at Nick and in turn Jeff was ticked at me too. He cornered me in the kitchen and tells me “nice work with Nick - now he has the same bad attitude towards sd that you do.” One day I’m in a bad mood and I will be persecuted forever, I swear.

So I told him, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, that maybe Nick’s actions have nothing to do with “the message I’m sending” but instead are a reaction to the tirade sd let loose on him on Monday. Jeff says “What are you talking about?” So here’s what I recounted to him:

You see on Monday when we were at my mil’s house sd was outside on the deck talking to someone on the phone. Nick played a little prank on her and locked the slider door so when she tried to come in she discovered her situation. She yelled for Nick to come unlock the door. He did and he was grinning - you know kind of a “ha ha gotcha” good natured thing. Not malicious, just playing around. When she gets in the house she starts ranting at him

“How’s that fucking fair? I pick on you and you go crying to your mommy like some kind of pussy - crybaby mama’s boy. ‘Mommy, mommy she’s picking on me’. And I get in trouble. That’s fucking bullshit.”

Now this is my son and I don’t care what happened with Jeff’s and my argument the day before but nobody talks to my son that way.

“Back off, he was just kidding around. You don’t need to be so nasty.”

I mean really, you could see the poor kids smile fade, his shoulders drop. It was like he was a balloon that she had just deflated.

“Well it’s not fucking fair. I always get in trouble because he goes crying to you. Whatever.” And she flips her hand in the air and walks off. Nice huh? Any wonder that she’s so easy to get along with? Why I’m surprised she doesn’t have a million friends with a sunny disposition like that.

And then Jeff turns to sd and says “You did that? What the hell for, he was just kidding around. Christ you’re the one that was acting like a crybaby.” Funny how it’s okay for him to dish it out to her but she’s off limits to the rest of us. It’s always been that way.

Sd’s chin goes in the air and she’s all “Yeah I did - it’s not fair…” blah, blah, blah and they get into it about what she said. She finally says she’s sorry to Nick the way a preschooler does when you force them. 22 years old and my youngest are more mature than her.

So I turned to Jeff and said “Maybe it’s not just me being a bitch to her after all. C’mon guys we’re going to be late.” And Nick, Olivia and I left. I’m sure from a diplomatic, keeping-the-peace standpoint I shouldn’t have said it - especially as a parting shot but I’m not going to keep quiet about stuff like that. She does it all the time when Jeff’s not around and rarely let’s it fly when he’s there. She plays the whole victim role to him of “Poor me - everybody hates me and I don’t know why. I’m so nice and sweet and innocent.” And she’s ripping into everybody behind his back.

The kids and I get home and she’s still here. And then says to me that she’s still feeling really sick can she leave her son here and go home and rest and she’ll pick him up in the morning. He’d already been there all day long while she was supposed to go work at mil’s house. After she had been gone for 4 hours she showed back up and said mil didn’t need her to work that day. So where had she been for 4 hours? Who knows? But since I was still stinging some from Sunday’s big blow out I just turned to Jeff and said “It’s up to him. Don’t ask me.” And I walked out of the room. A few minutes later she announced that they were both leaving so she could go home, have HER BOYFRIEND watch her son and take a nap. Gee if he was going to be there - they live together - why did her son need to stay overnight at our house? Hmmm…

See what I mean? I’m tired just writing about it.

Share this post: Share this post with the world.
  • Facebook
  • del.icio.us
  • Digg
  • Google
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati

Comments

7 Comments so far

  1. Mary on May 31, 2006 7:52 am

    Sounds like she needs to grow up.

    I didn’t know how old she was until just now…I was thinking 17 or something.

    Maybe you and your husband could use some counseling. Sounds like you really need it if you want to hold the family together.

    And I would NOT let her use me for a babysitter all the time.
    That’s not fair unless she is really working hard which it doesn’t sound like she is.

    Your husband isn’t doing her any favors by enabling her in being lazy and disrespectful.

  2. Rhonda on May 31, 2006 8:36 am

    Boy, you are tired writing it, I am tired reading it. Sheesh girl, you need to get away for a few days. *hugs*

  3. Bev on May 31, 2006 9:05 am

    You’re right. It’s ridiculous. I didn’t realize she was that over the top. Jeff needs to be made aware of all these things AS they happen so he doesn’t have his head where most men like to have it when it comes to kid trouble (in the sand). Let him deal with ALL of it. If she asks you to babysit, I’d politely decline until she starts showing you and her LITTLE step siblings some love and respect. She sounds completely immature and irresponsible. I’d be just as incensed as you!

  4. kel on May 31, 2006 10:08 am

    Sending hugs your way. I got mad just reading your post. What a selfish brat.

  5. Northern_Girl on May 31, 2006 10:35 am

    Wow…

    Just wow.

    I’d go with what Bev said and let Jeff deal with it in real time. Be supportive of Jeff, but let him take the body blows for a while.

  6. Michele on May 31, 2006 11:29 am

    WOW! I think the thing that got me the worst was the use of the word “pussy” GAWD, I hate that word. That and how a 22 year old woman says ‘That’s not fair” She’s got a lot to learn about life yet, doesn’t she?

    Hang in there Julie, all you can do is the best that you can with what you’ve got to work with.

  7. Aimz on May 31, 2006 5:35 pm

    um, that’s just rude of her trying to leave her son with you while she goes home to rest. I mean you have your own family and daycare kids to deal with. That’s what being a mother is, when you raise your kids 24 hours a day, 7 days a week - jeepers! I relaly hope that your husband’s eyes are being opened to the ways of his daughter, I’m glad you are stepping back from dealing with her and letting him see how she is.

Name (required)

Email (required)

Website

Speak your mind

← Blending Families Conflama →