When you are a Mom you deal with a never-ending array of tasks and problems. When you work outside the home they can further complicate your life. When your job is salaried and your husband’s is hourly that only makes it more difficult. For you. The Mom.

Case in point - my daughter came to me last night complaining that she had a bump on her gums that hurt. It’s high up and looks like a big sore. I suspect it’s an abscess. Being Sunday evening I gave her some Children’s Advil, sent her to bed and decided to stay home and call the dentist office first thing in the morning. My husband can’t take the time because he won’t be paid for any time missed. I however can take the time and I will be paid. But at what cost?

First and foremost - I will always put my children’s needs above all else when it comes to health issues, school performances and events, and various other things that are important in a child’s life. I am, however, one of two of the Administrators at my job that has young children. Unlike the other mother, I do not have my mother available as my full time, free babysitter that will take my children no matter their health and drive them to all of their appointments, classes, after school activities, etc. So in that grain I am unique.

So today the dentist can’t see my daughter until 11:30am. She is not terribly uncomfortable and chose to go to school until it’s time to go to her appointment. The dentist is 10 minutes from my house, my job is 40 minutes from my house. In the opposite direction. So I had to call and talk to my boss (the Principal!) and tell him the situation. I advised him that I would be working from home this morning and would be in this afternoon after I attend an appointment with my husband at a specialist’s office. So because of family issues I have missed 3/4 of the day in the office.

And what I wonder is - how does this affect me in the eyes of my colleagues and superior? Do the ones that are female with children of their own understand or do they wonder why I can’t manage when they are able to juggle both? Do the men with children understand better than the ones that don’t have children? And my boss is one of those that does not have children of his own. I want my children to always be able to count on me but I want to progress at work too. I know it’s not fair for parents to expect separate considerations from their counterparts that do not have children. But I don’t know how else to be. And I don’t know how else my children would want me to be.

If I could have my choice - were my fairy godmother to swoop down and grant me one wish - I would choose to be employed full time as my children’s mother and my husband’s wife and full time manager of our household. Unfortunately that is a pro bono position. And the current economy makes that choice scary and seemingly unmanageable.

So in the meantime how do I remain successful at my current job while taking good care of my family? How do you do it?