Apr

17

Sunday, Sunday

April 17, 2005 |

Thank you Genuine for reminding me about that section of the marriage by-laws that I usually choose to ignore. I tend to skip right to the next part ;)

Hubs apparently became aware of my displeasure with his behavior rather quickly as everything changed to “sweetie” and “Jules honey”. I don’t know if my silence and deadly glares got the message across or if he read my blog. This sudden shift did nothing to melt my icy exterior that night though. And frankly, that’s because it hurt to be treated that way. Maybe hubs has a difficult time telling me what’s bothering him but if he was just quiet and withdrawn that would be one thing; I’d leave him alone and let him come around when he was ready. That’s what I’ve always done in the past.

But that’s not what the other night was. It was one of those where everything I did was wrong and stupid and he wanted me to feel as shitty as he did. We had Nick’s school concert that night and Jeff didn’t want to go. Let’s face it too, as cute as our own children are in these performances, for the most part they are long and drawn out and when you have other young children to amuse and keep quiet it gets pretty old. But you go for your kids, it’s important to them and that’s the bottom line.

Well the stepdaughter decided to share with hubs that he shouldn’t bother go on Thursday since he never went to any of hers. We went to every single one. I made him. So the bottom line was that he was very hurt and angry that he had made that effort with her and she didn’t even remember. Had the opposite memory in fact. And this somehow became my fault.

It’s blown over now, but the sting still lingers. A note to the men; when you’re feeling lousy about something don’t turn your venom on your wife. Just stay quiet and brood for a while. In this house, that’s preferred.


Comments

7 Comments so far

  1. Katie on April 17, 2005 3:46 pm

    I’m glad things are better. Course I guess the flip side is that us women shouldn’t say “nothing” when things bug us (I’m so guilty about that one, lol).

    How was the concert?

  2. Nancy on April 17, 2005 6:58 pm

    Ahh … then there are step-children.
    And guilt - kids know how to lay it on.
    Don’t we always take things out on the person we should go to for consolation? I hate that part of “marriage”. When do you stop going to one another with your problems and start BLAMING your problems ON one another.
    C’mon, admit it we all do … and we don’t know why.:roll:

  3. mrs. diamond on April 17, 2005 7:52 pm

    I’m actually not sure if I prefer the brooding…. though I wouldn’t tolerate being yelled and sworn at either, but holding it all inside (brooding and not talking) isn’t real healthy either. But you are absolutely right. You should not be treated like dirt just cuz he’s in a foul mood.

    Maybe he could just go for a walk or something when he’s grouchy and then talk about it rationally without calling names and hurling insults and accusations, when he’s calmed down.

  4. Genuine on April 19, 2005 1:30 am

    *making a note* CHECK!

    Now do we have the make up sex post?

  5. VJ on April 19, 2005 1:40 pm

    AMEN!!!

    Yesterday Angelo tried to share his feelings with me, and what he said hurt me deeply. It dwelt with infertility and my “not trying hard enough.” The wound went very deep and hurt badly.

    Thus began a game of sword fighting.

    This morning I cornered him in the bathroom and aired out the comments, the feelings, the results and then asked for forgivness. He did the same.

    Life is better now, but the hurt still lingers.

  6. Marcia on April 19, 2005 6:16 pm

    Actually, Genuine may have something there. Hope things get better and better. :)

  7. The Zero Boss on April 21, 2005 7:15 pm

    My wife telling me to shape the fuck up usually catches my attention. It’s then that I realize I’m heading into “no sex” territory, and better turn around before I see the “Abandon All Hope” sign.

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