The inlaws are coming
:sun2-ani: My sil is coming for the weekend along with my bil and their 2 kids. I really enjoy visits with my sil, she’s a lot of fun to hang around, I get some much needed retail therapy and I have someone to bitch with about Jeff’s crazy family. But their visits always bring on intense anxiety too.
You see, I have a dirty little secret, well actually it’s a big secret and it’s called my house. I am a horrible housekeeper and I always get panicky about the condition of my home. We have a lot of clutter, piles of papers and books and magazines all over the place.
I pick up around the house every day, I vacuum and sweep the floors every day but as for any deep cleaning; it’s virtually non-existent. I have 4 children ages 8 and under, I work 11 hours a day taking care of other people’s children in addition to my own and I spend most weekends running a billion and one errands or going to a training seminar related to my chosen profession.
So I feel guilt and shame that my house always seems messy and dirty. Of course I will dash through the house like a crazy woman tomorrow trying to clean that which I have left untouched since the last time they came to visit 6 months ago but it will just make me cranky, exhausted and defeated.
I don’t know that she judges me on the appearance of my house, but I know I always feel self-conscious and like I just can’t relax at all. Like I have to put on this image of “I’m trying as hard as I can. Really I’m not a lazy, good for nothing slob” but it just makes me resentful. No matter how hard I do try it will never be good enough - for me.
I know that’s a lot of the problem, because in reality I will clean quite heavily tomorrow and it will look okay, not great but pretty good. But I will see the dust I missed and the cobwebs I forgot to get in the corner or the dried glob of grape jelly on the couch that I didn’t even know existed until 5 seconds before.
I feel overwhelmed by my life a lot. I know it’s the path I have chosen but sometimes it’s just so insurmountable. I don’t know how I’m ever going to get anything done - let alone everything like Supermom’s supposed to.
So the company will come, we’ll have a good time and a few too many Mudslides and I’ll forget about the dirt and grime around my house until they leave. And then I’ll wonder what they’re saying on their ride home “Did you see those curtains, it’s like they haven’t been washed in years. Do you think she ever cleans behind the stuff on her kitchen counters?” And then I’ll say fuck it and I’ll go on about my cluttered, messy life the only way I know how.























I’ve been spring cleaning all week, going through every closet, every cupboard, every room cleaning, tossing, donating just because we have decided to entertain this weekend. My husband and I are NOT entertainers, so where I got this crazy idea, I don’t know.
We live in a worn 60+ year old house, and the people coming over live in a brand new, very nice house. Almost all of our furniture is old - given to us when other people buy new stuff for their home.
Oh, and I just spent five hours outside cleaning, planting, raking last falls leaves, trying to make our landscape look good as well.
Yeah, I’m extremely uptight about it.
VJMay 20th, 2004 at 11:16 pm
Yikes! I could have written that post. I am a terrible housekeeper but as with you, it isn’t from lack of effort.
BibittyI found an online support group of all things. It actually helped me a lot! It taught me different ways of doing things and it was nice to know there were people out there wayyyyyy messier than I.
Don’t be hard on yourself. You are already doing the job of 3 women!
If you want to find the support group do a search under Messies Anonymous.
Good luck, breathe and enjoy your company!
May 21st, 2004 at 3:28 am
Jules, I’m an excellent housekeeper and very organized, thankfully. Not nearly as much so as in my more anal "youth". I still go through tremors when we’re getting company too because of the CAT HAIR!!!
Have you ever thought about just tackling one closet at a time, and totally purging all the useless crap? I’m real good at that part, which makes it much easier to have the "illusion" of a clean house……….or hire an organizer!! You work, you deserve the help if it will give you peace of mind!!
BevMay 21st, 2004 at 9:15 am
Don’t they say a cluttered house is a sign of a good mommmy? Don’t worry about it..you know you have your priorities straight and that is all that matters! Have a wonderful time!
CandiMay 21st, 2004 at 10:35 am
Try not to worry about it too much hun, and if all else fails just shove everything into your bedroom and close the door. (Don’t tell anyone but that’s what i do when company is coming!)
MicheleMay 21st, 2004 at 2:41 pm
You know, I used to be a real good housekeeper… Very organized, every cupboard neat… But now I’m a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of 4… Who has time to have an immaculate house??? LOL!… Of course it doesn’t help that there are six of us in an 880 square foot home, we have so much stuff (most of which belongs to the kids) that I don’t have the room to be neat! LOL!…
… So I know where you are coming from! LOL! Try not to get too stressed, and try thinking of them walking a day in our shoes…. Maybe they wouldn’t have a perfect house then either.
Hugs
JulieJulie
May 22nd, 2004 at 3:26 am
Try the flylady—
Gourdladyhttp://flylady.net/
she can help you out of CHAOS (can’t have anyone over syndrome)! At least she did me!
May 24th, 2004 at 1:11 pm