Jan

15

The Results

January 15, 2005 |

What a day yesterday was. I woke up early in the morning when it was still dark outside after a very fitful nights sleep. It was 50 degrees and pouring rain. Seemed appropriate given my impending trip to the doctors. My stomach was in knots and I could barely even get my coffee down.

When it was time for me to leave for the Doctors the temperature had dropped to 34 and the rain had turned to sleet and then to snow. I love Vermont in the winter. The roads were shitty and it is a 40 minute trip to the Doctors office on a good day. As I was crawling along I couldn’t help but realize the irony of the fact that I might never make it to find out if I was going to “make it” or begin the long battle against a life altering disease.

I ended up only being 5 minutes late but then had to sit in the waiting room for 20 of the most agonizing minutes of my life. Tears kept welling up in my eyes as I pictured the Doctor breaking bad news to me. I would sit there staring out the window blinking furiously the keep the tears at bay. By the time they finally called me in I seriously thought I was going to throw up.

The nurse led me down the hallway and around a corner to an exam room I hadn’t been in before. I sat in the exam chair and she asked me how I was doing. She asked questions about my incision, how my neck felt and how I felt my recovery was going.

“I’m doing fine,” I replied. “Just anxious about the lab results.”

“Oh yes.” she said. “The lab results, lets see. Uh huh, uh huh. Okay.”

Put me out of my freaking misery already!!!!

“Well let’s see what the lab results say -”

“Benign tumor composed of fatty tissue involving 3 lymph nodes.”

Benign. She said benign. And I cried. And I cried. And I apologized and I cried some more. Then I explained about my husband and 4 young children and how I had just been sick with worry. And she gave me a hug and told me she understood and would probably have cried too.

Then my doctor came in and asked “How is my favorite neck lump patient doing?” You’re right Autumn, those doctors definitely are jaded. But he explained to me about lipomas - the tumors that are made up of fatty tissue - and how they are nothing to be concerned about, many people get them, they do not develop into cancer and how they don’t really know what causes them. Seems mine was wrapped around 3 of my lymph nodes and that’s why the doctors all thought it was a swollen lymph node, not anything else.

So I thank you, all of you, for your kind words of support, your logic, your wisdom, your prayers, your own stories. They made all the difference. When I was feeling particularly scared I thought of the things you guys had written to me and it helped me through. You all mean the world to me.


Comments

28 Comments so far

  1. mrs. diamond on January 16, 2005 9:08 am

    Praise the Lord!!! \o/
    I am ecstatic for you. I don’t even have to tell you to have a good weekend!
    Perhaps the lesson for you here was to look at “priorities” I’m sure facing a serious illness like that gives you a whole new look at what is important and what is not. Go in where God is leading you.
    (hugs) I am so happy.
    Thank you Jesus, Thank you Jesus!!!!!! To God be all the glory.

  2. Michele on January 16, 2005 11:12 am

    YAY! I’m so happy for you Julie!
    Big hugs!!

  3. Diane on January 16, 2005 11:33 am

    a huge sigh of relief for you! ((hugs))

  4. Barbara on January 16, 2005 1:36 pm

    Fantastic! Glad to hear good news for you. ;)

  5. Philip on January 16, 2005 2:24 pm

    Hot damn! I’m so happy for you. I have some lipomas too. They get bigger when you get fatter, and smaller when you get skinnier, just like other fatty deposits. I’m glad that’s all it is.

  6. Candi on January 16, 2005 3:19 pm

    Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful!

  7. Redneck Diva on January 16, 2005 4:17 pm

    Oh hon that’s wonderful! God answers prayers.

    Now go hug those babies and enjoy life once more

  8. Nicole on January 17, 2005 2:39 pm

    I’m so happy the test results were negative. I hope you are able to put this bump in the road behind you and have happier days.

  9. Lindsey on January 18, 2005 12:26 pm

    Oh my god Julie, I’m sitting here reading this thinking just a yes or a no! Good god woman your killing me! Oh I’m so glad your okay hun, I was sending love and healing thoughts right up I-89 to Vt. for ya :) Go give each of your weasels a big ‘ol hug and snuggle them tight!!!

  10. Joan on January 18, 2005 5:26 pm

    Here’s big hugs for you {{{{Julie}}}} so happy that it’s all over with. I know how scared you were, but thank goodness everything turned out OK. Love ya….Joan

  11. VJ on January 18, 2005 10:31 pm

    I’m so glad to hear that it wasn’t cancer. Good for you. I am sure you are sleeping easy now.

    Take care,
    Vicky

  12. Snapper on January 19, 2005 6:47 pm

    Yay!

    And more yay!

    And a whoo hoo for good measure! :) :) :)

  13. Becky on January 19, 2005 7:23 pm

    Hallelujah!!! I am so happy to hear your news, my friend. I know that you must feel so relieved!:smile:

  14. Janice on January 20, 2005 1:08 am

    I am glad to hear the good news.

  15. Autumn on January 21, 2005 2:57 pm

    WONDERFUL JULES!
    I knew you would be okay :)
    What a wonderful thing!!
    I bet you feel like you are walkin on air :)
    Sending the high temperatures to you all!
    Although today it is back down in the mid 70’s!
    Sending hot cocoa to ya!
    Autumn

  16. Autumn on January 21, 2005 2:59 pm

    Hi Jules!
    It seems as if my first comment has not shown up??
    I am so glad to hear that you are ok! I knew you would be and yes those doctors are a bunch of jaded so and so’s!
    Sending you some of the California temperatures although it is only in the mid 70’s today! That is more up my alley!
    Sending hot cocoa to you all!
    Autumn

  17. Kate on January 22, 2005 6:55 pm

    :razz:Great News!!!!! Yippeeeeeee!!!

    (the roads down here in MA are just as bad:???:)

    Have a great night!!

  18. Donna on January 22, 2005 11:16 pm

    Hi Julie!
    Just wanted to come by and say HI! I know it’s been a while.
    I am so glad that you found out everything was OK! Have a great weekend dear! ((HUGS))

  19. Kristine on January 23, 2005 8:26 pm

    Fabulous news!! I’m so happy for you!! :!:

  20. Andrea on January 23, 2005 10:37 pm

    WHOOHOO!! I KNEW YOU’D BE OK!! HUG THOSE BABIES, ‘CUZ YOU’VE GOT LOTS AND LOTS OF YEARS TO KEEP ON HUGGIN’!! *Ü*

  21. Marcia on January 26, 2005 9:48 pm

    Oh what an ordeal. I’m so glad you’re ok. What a relief for you and your family. ((hugs))

  22. Autumn on January 28, 2005 4:31 pm

    I’m so glad your ok. Doctors are evil, cynical, jaded bastards - to bad we need them sometimes.

    A big *sigh* for you and your family.

  23. Nancy on January 30, 2005 11:11 pm

    Thank God!

  24. Joan on January 31, 2005 11:25 pm

    Just stopped by to see how you are doing..it’s Mardi Gras time here in New Orleans! Have a good week! Hugs!

  25. Katie on February 4, 2005 9:24 am

    Whew! So glad it’s not the dreaded C word! Take care. :)

  26. Milenka on February 5, 2005 6:58 pm

    I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been thinking of you and wondering how you are. :-)

  27. Tuesday on February 15, 2005 10:24 pm

    Great news!

  28. Lou on February 25, 2005 6:06 pm

    I’m de-lurking here to say. . .

    Thank Heavens! I’m so happy for you! What a horrible thing to be going through with all the worry and not knowing!

    Lou

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